When Hobbits Fail
by McAwsome
Summary: This was probably the most random crossover I could come up with, Greys/LotR, but it fit and became a rather amusing project of mine. Please give it a chance, its quite humourous, and I think maybe it works. So READ, REVIEW, and tell me what YOU think.
1. Chapter 1

Authors note: This was probably the most random crossover I could come up with, Greys/LotR, but it fit and became a rather amusing project of mine. Please give it a chance, its quite humourous, and I think maybe it works. Most of the story is told in the dialogue (just like all of my other works), you might need to pay attention to that. So READ, REVIEW, and tell me what YOU think about it. Also, neither Greys Anatomy, or LotR belong to me. I own nothing.

_"Three rings for the elven kings under the sky,_

_Seven for the dwarf lords in their halls of stone,_

_Nine for mortal men doomed to die,_

_One for the dark lord on his dark throne_

_In the land of Mordor, where the shadows lie._

_One ring to rule them all, One ring to find them,_

_One ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them_

_In the land of Mordor, where the shadows lie."_

_-The Lord of the Rings_

**And so it begins...**

"What have you got?" Miranda Bailey demanded as an EMT thundered past her with a man on a stretcher.

"Twenty three year old male, swallowed a small object and it is obstructing his airway," The EMT explained, turning the patient over to Bailey.

"Okay, um," Bailey looked over her interns, "Grey, get him to CT."

"Yes Dr. Bailey," Meredith answered, taking control of the gurney. As she disappeared into the chaos, a pager went off.

"Let's move people!" Bailey shouted.

Three hours later…

"Good job everyone," announced Bailey stepping back from the operating table, "Grey, close him up."

"Yes Dr. Bailey," Meredith answered automatically stepping into position, " What should I do with the, erm, obstruction?"

"Do I look like I really care?" Bailey demanded.

"No," Meredith replied truthfully.

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"Good afternoon Mister White," Dr. Izzie Stevens sang cheerfully as she entered her patients room.

"I'm not crazy," Replied Steve White, not looking away from the television screen.

"I never said you were," Izzie reminded him.

"Can I tell you a secret?" he asked.

"As long as it won't hurt you or anyone else," she said kindly.

"I'm a wizard."

"What?" of all the things Izzie had expected to hear, this really wasn't one of them.

"Gandalf the Grey," exclaimed Steve, extending his hand to shake hers, "at your service."

"Righ-ight," Izzie stammered somewhat distractedly placing her hand in his.

"You don't believe me, do you?" he sighed, clearly disappointed.

"I-"

"You really think I'm crazy now, don't you?" asked Steve, "or diseased, right? Now you want to run tests on my brain don't you? It wont help, I've been in six hospitals in the last year, and all of them have said the exact same thing- I'm fine."

"Well," Izzie said, finally finding her voice, "Dr. Shepherd is one of the best neurosurgeons in the country. If he cant fix you, there's nothing wrong with you."

"That's some high praise Dr. Stevens," laughed Dr. Shepherd, entering the room and going the stand on the opposite side of Mr. White's bed.

"Are you really worth it?" Steve asked.

"I try," replied Derek, "so how are you feeling Mr. White?"

"Great," replied Steve, "and it's Steve, Dr. Shepherd.

"Alright, Steve it is then," said Shepherd, "Stevens, schedule and MRI, I want to see what's going on inside that brain."

"Smoke rises from the fires of Mount Doom," Steve said in a strange voice that was not his own. "The great eye sees all."

"Stevens," Dr. Shepherd said nervously, "hurry with that MRI."

"Yes Dr. Shepherd," answered Izzie, hastily walking to the door where she hesitated and turned around.

"Yes Dr. Stevens?" Questioned Shepherd.

"It's just that, well-," Izzie continued to hesitate, "he thinks he's a wizard."

"Huh, well that is strange," agreed Shepherd, "we'll know more once we get that MRI."

"Yes sir."

...To be continued

A/N: So this is the first chapter, and it's not as good as I would like, but I can definatly say that it gets more interesting in the next chapter. Thanks for reading, now click that little purple button at the bottom of your screen and review. Now that you've reviewed, please feel free to continue on to the rest of the story.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N I suppose I should mention that this story basically takes the place of Season 4. I started writing it right after season 3 ended and it just sort of developed from there. I've attempted to take the drama of Grey's Anatomy and add a slight twist. Hope you like! READ and REVIEW.

**Chapter 2**

"Hey guys," said Meredith, sitting down in the cafeteria at a table with George, Alex and Christina, "I got to scrub in on a blah blah medical blah blah."

"So?" demanded Christina, "you got to watch Bailey cut open a guy's stomach and pull out a foreign object, big deal."

"She's been in the pit all day," Alex informed Meredith, as if this explained Christina's behavior.

"Ah," George and Meredith sighed in unison, apparently this DID explain Christina's behavior.

"Well look what we pulled out of the guy's stomach." Meredith said excitedly, pulling the ring out of the pocket of her lab coat.

"Wow," said Christina with mock excitement, "a ring."

"Cool," said George, putting down his book and looking closely, "well that seems familiar."

"Put that away!" a terrified voice filled the cafeteria. An twenty-ish man with wild dark hair and grey eyes wearing a hospital gown was striding over to their table, followed closely by Izzie.

"Stop!" she shouted as he grabbed the ring and shoved it back into Meredith's pocket.

"Do not put it on," he told her before allowing Izzie to lead him out of the cafeteria, "it isn't safe."

"Ohhhhhh kay then," shrugged Christina, "that was slightly odd."

"Whatever," replied Meredith, "that was Izzie's mental patient."

"The one who thinks he's a wizard?" George asked, looking interested.

"She has another one? Alex asked sarcastically, George glared at him and began to read again.

"He thinks he's Gandalf the Grey," Meredith laughed, "The wizard from that movie."

"The one with the guy from _Harry Potter_?" questioned Christina.

"Yeah," agreed Meredith, "that's the one."

"He thinks he's Gandalf?" asked Alex, now serious.

"From _Lord of the Rings_?" questioned George, laying his book on the table.

"I guess," Meredith replied uncertainly.

"That is SO cool!" Alex exclaimed excitedly leaping from his seat and moving to follow the mental patient from the room.

"Wait for me!" shouted George, scrambling to follow.

"Nerds," laughed Christina as she and Meredith watched the guys go.

"Yup."

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"Going somewhere Dr. Burke?" demanded the accusing voice of Dr. Bailey.

"I'm leaving Miranda," Burke replied, "it's just to much, you know? Seeing her in the hallway, knowing that she can never be the woman I fell in love with."

"You're whining," Bailey informed him, "you never loved the real Christina."

"I-"

"Shut up, you love YOUR idea of who she was, not taking any of HER feelings into consideration." Bailey continued.

"But I-"

"I am not finished. That woman put her own career on the line to save yours. You became a complete ass when you got shot and she never complained once- SHE PUT UP WITH YOUR MOTHER Preston. So don't you dare go blaming all of this on her. She loved you. You don't even know her." finished Bailey, "You can speak now, I'm finished."

"You're right of course," Burke whispered softly, "I really am an ass."

"Uh-huh," agreed Bailey, Burke stuck his hand out.

"It's been a pleasure working with you Dr. Bailey."

"Likewise Dr. Burke."


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N so the fun officially begins in this chapter, you should start to be able to see the connection between all of the story lines...and if not, at least it's pretty entertaining...so read, enjoy, and Please review!_

Chapter 3.

"Hello Mr. White!" Alex said cheerfully, "how are you doing today?"

"His eye draws closer," Steve said in the strange voice, "always watching, always."

"Who's watching Mr. White?" George asked, "Can you give us a name?"

"A great lidless eye," Steve continued as though no one but he had spoken, "he never sleeps, never."

"George, look at his eyes," exclaimed Alex "see how they're glazed over right now? He can't hear us."

"The Ring must be destroyed!" Steve shouted, suddenly bolting upright in his bed, "It's not safe here."

"What ring? That thing Meredith found?" George asked.

"No you idiot, THE ring," groaned Alex, grabbing George's book and shaking it at him.

"Wha- Oh," sighed George, realizing that he was talking about Sauron's ring of power.

"Mr. White, you have absolutely nothing to worry about," George told the mental patient, "I know from a good source that the ring has been destroyed." George smiled at Mr. White, showing him his book. The Return of the King.

"Oh my good lad," sighed Steve, reading the title and shaking his head in dismay, "you have been told lies."

"But-" George said defensively, "this says that Frodo cast the ring into the fires of Mount Doom!"

Steve White shook his head sadly.

"I'm afraid the truths of that story end when Sam and Frodo are captured by Faramir and the servants of Gondor." Steve explained to George and Alex, who were now seated around his bed. "Instead of releasing the hobbits and allowing them to complete their mission, Faramir kills them, takes the ring to Gondor and presents it to his father, who really was insane, but he never set himself on fire and jumped off of a building. Instead he builds an army and attempts to harness the Ring's power and use it against the armies of Mordor. So the Ring is in the hands of men, and multiple armies are on their way to destroy them. Forgetting about the Ring's quest to return to Sauron, Denethor attempts to use the Ring against it's masters armies. The results are catastrophic."

"So Sauron got his ring back?" Alex asked, not sure he bought the story but captivated all the same.

Steve looked from George to Alex, both of whom were on the edge of their seats, desperately wanting to hear more. Steve sighed and shook his head.

"No, Sauron did not get his ring back, nor has it yet been destroyed," Mr. White explained, "everything went fine for Gondor at first, the men kept the orcs back and they won the first battle. Or so they thought, rumors spread. Rumors that Gondor had a powerful mysterious weopon, and the people of Middle Earth panicked. Those who did not answer the call of Mordor banded together. Gondor was at war on two fronts, and as you would say nowadays, they were pretty well screwed."

Everyone looked up as Izzie entered the room, at first she didn't realized that Steve had visiters, as she was studying his chart.

"You boys run along now" Steve told Alex and George, "we can talk more later."

"Mr. White," Izzie said as the guys walked past her, "our tests show that whatever is causing you to think you are this- wizard, it's not surgical."

"So you're sending me back to Pshyce?" Steve asked, "Good, those guys at least pretended to believe me. Would you let your friends know that I'm being moved? I need to finish my tale."

"Alright Mr. White, I'll tell them," Izzie told him.

To be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

A/N ...and it just keeps on getting better!

Chapter 4

"I want candy," thought Mark Sloane as he went to see a patient.

Bob Edwards, weighing in at a massive four hundred pounds and only comfortable in a bathtub full of steaming hot water, really wanted to get skinny.

"Never mind," upon entering Mr. Edwards' room, Mark cancelled his previous thought, "ugh."

"Do ya have good news for me Doc?" Bob asked, looking up from his crossword puzzle,

"Some good, some bad," replied Mark, diverting his eyes the man was in his bathtub. "blah blah medical blah blah blah."

"In English Doc," requested Bob.

"Blah blah medical translated into words that Bob could understand blah blah blah," explained Mark, fighting the urge to roll his eyes.

"Okay, so are there any other options?" Bob asked.

"Diet? Exercise?" suggested Mark, "Slim Fast? South Beach? A girdle?"

"Look at me Doc," exclaimed Bob, "I'm enormous."

"Blah Blah medical Blah?' Mark suggested.

"Well if you won't do it, I'll find someone better who will." replied Bob, "I'm fat, but I'm rich."

"Alright, fine," sighed Mark, "I'll do it."

"I know you would understand," Bob smiled, "tell one of the nurses to bring me some brownies."

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"What is the matter with the two of you?" Izzie demanded when she walked out of Steve's room and found George and Alex waiting eagerly by the door. "That man is seriously ill, I can't believe you're encouraging him!"

"He's our age, Iz," George said quietly, "and the things he says, well- it's fascinating."

"Plus," added Alex, "maybe he's telling the truth."

"Get real Alex, you can't seriously tell me that you believe he's a wizard," argued Izzie, rolling her eyes.

"I believe he believes he's a wizard," replied Alex, "and he's got a whole story to back him up. You should hear the guy talk."

"We're supposed to be his doctors!" exclaimed Izzie, getting frustrated, "we're supposed to be helping him get better, not buying into his stories!"

"I don't see where it hurts anything, Izzie," sighed Alex, "and I will probably visit him in Pshyce."

"Argh!" Izzie groaned, throwing her hands up in frustration, "do whatever you think is best."

"I aim to," Alex shouted at her retreating back.

"That went well," commented George.

"It did, didn't it," agreed Alex as he and George walked off in the direction opposite the way Izzie had gone.

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Meredith pushed the button to call the elevator, then waited for it to come down from the top floor. While she was waiting, Derek Shepherd walked up.

"Good afternoon Dr. Grey," he said formally.

"Hello Dr. Shepherd," she replied, keeping her voice stiff and emotionless. She really wanted to say something else, something interesting, something witty, anything but what actually came out of her mouth. "Want some gum?"

"Sure," replied Derek, accepting the foil wrapped stick with a bemused smirk on his face. Truthfully it was he who had nothing to say. Actually no, that's a lie. Derek Shepherd had plenty of things he wanted to tell Meredith Grey, unfortunately, none of which she wanted to hear.

He wanted to tell her that he loved her, that he wanted to marry her, build her a house and father her children. He wanted to drop to his knees right there in the hallway and beg her to be his wife, he already had the ring, all he needed to do was propose. Sadly, he knew that she wasn't ready for that kind of commitment, so instead, he said the lamest thing a man can say when a pretty woman gives him gum. "Thanks, I like gum."

Meredith pulled her lab coat tighter around herself, shivering slightly, she wondered if the temperature in the room had suddenly dropped ten degrees. Or if it was the fire of her relationship with Derek, slowly burning out.

...to be continued


End file.
